Thursday 30 October 2014

10 Reasons Why You Shouldn't Do NaNoWriMo

Because, let's face it, there are plenty of reasons why you should. The Official Website has approximately one bajillion pep talks covering every possible reason why you should sacrifice your November for the sake of a first draft. So here, as a counterpoint, are ten reasons why you* shouldn't do NaNoWriMo this year.

(* of course, as The Vandals say, when I say "you", I mean "me")

1. You don't have the time
I've made this point before. No one has the time to write 50k words in thirty days. We all have day-jobs and demanding families and housework and social lives and three kids and Alien Isolation. Carving out writing time from this schedule is crushing.
Writing takes time. I have a certificate that says I can type an average of 34 words per minute (apparently), so even if I type at flat-out, no-time-to-think-or-plot speed, the daily total of 1667 words will take me about fifty minutes. If I had fifty minutes to spare each day, I'd have a nap.

2. You don't know what to write about
Ideas are difficult. Putting ideas into a coherent and entertaining form is seventeen times as difficult. And even if you have the best idea in the world:

3. You haven't done enough prep
Preparing a full character sheet can eat up hours of your life. World-building has stolen more of my time than Fallout 3. Even if you're a pantser like me, you need at least an outline, right? Or a chapter-by-chapter breakdown. So, not only do you not have time to write, you don't have time to properly plan the extravagant plot, characters, theme etc. that your story deserves.

4. No one wants to read what you've written
This one can be deceptive, because if you say to someone, hey, I'm writing a book, there's about a ninety percent chance they'll ask to read it. DO NOT BE FOOLED BY THIS. Paranoia is your friend--if you never write it, you never need risk someone guffawing at your prose.

5. The first draft will suck
I refuse to believe that any writer, no matter how successful, loses the desperate hope that somehow, against all odds, this first draft will turn out perfect and you won't have to change so much as a misplaced comma. And then you read back what you've written, and you cry.

6. It's difficult
Writing is difficult, Princess. Anyone who tells you different is selling something. You will put in long hours, you will fight with your laptop, you will shout STUPID STORY BE MORE FINISHED, and you will probably get RSI, especially if you're having to balance your laptop at a silly angle because there's a cat on your knee, like what I'm doing.

7. Your inner critic won't like it
As much as I love NaNo, it's a bit harsh on the "inner editor" - the sensible voice in your head that corrects your syntax and tells you when your main character is being an unnecessary doofus. NaNo's point is that for November you should put the editing part of your brain aside and concentrate on words on paper, but I think this is a bit mean, since the best work should be a collaboration between all the voices in your head. So I tend to use "inner critic" instead.
Regardless, whatever you call him/her, your inner bumgardner won't like being ignored, and will undermine your confidence at every opportunity, like in that episode of Red Dwarf. Can you put up with internal nagging for a whole month?

8. Your idea sucks
Sure, it seems great now, but is it good enough to maintain your interest for 30 days? Bear in mind all the other things you could be doing. Is it seriously worth sacrificing your time for? Be honest now.

9. You can't find your muse
S/he's probably gone off drinking with your inner editor. I told you it was a bad idea to start excluding people.

10. Reason 10, because there's always a tenth reason
Even if it's not specifically mentioned on a list like this, you can always find a reason not to write. A novel is a big investment of time and effort, and if you don't really REALLY want to do it, you'll find a reason not to. It's easy to let a day slip past, and you tell yourself you'll catch up at the weekend, but then it's midweek again and you're so far behind there's really no point even trying to reach your goal, and hey have you guys been watching Intruders on BBC? It's great.

So there you go, ten reasons not to NaNo, go ahead and pick the one(s) you like best. Or, ignore me, and ignore all the other niggling doubts your inner scuzzbucket throws at you, and go write. Oh, and friend me. Ta.

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