just quickly

A thought for a Friday:

If the universe can take away Lemmy, Bowie, and Alan Rickman in the space of a week, then all bets are off. We're none of us here for a long time. So that thing you've been meaning to do, the one you've been putting off doing? DO IT NOW. Get it started, get if finished, get it done. Your excuses are looking increasingly weak.

And don't forget to hug the people you care about. Also, hug your cats. They'll act like they don't appreciate it, maybe even with claws and biting, but trust me they'll secretly love you for it.

2015 - end of year writing stats

That's a boring heading, isn't it? Anyways, fresh from the Rakie-spreadsheet, some stats about my writing progress in 2015:

Total Word Count: 359,224
(Total for 2014: 295,670)

I'm happy with that. The main projects I worked on this year were:

Finishing The Extra (my Nano novel from November 2014 which I finally completed in March and have ignored since).
A small amount of work on YA superhero story Search & Destroy.
Rewriting and editing Fourth to the Devil (including dreaded synopsis and query letters).
Finally redrafting my YA time-travel, haunted house bonanza 2114, which was started for Nano 2013 and has now been renamed 2116 in honour of how unnecessarily long it's taken me to complete.
Notes on a supernatural crime story, White Death, that I really want to start work on.
Completed NaNoWriMo 2015 with Animal Bones, a rewrite of one of my earliest stories.
And the first draft of Floor 156, a dystopian thriller which I'm pretty sure no one will ever get to read, ever (some things are only written for our own funsies).

Oh, and the ebook of Home Ground came out. :)

One resolution for last year was to write every day, which I just about managed, although it was a close call on a few days and frequently I achieved only a few scribbled notes. Even so, I appear to have averaged approximately 980 words a day (allowing a margin for my shoddy maths), which is very respectable if true.

I also resolved that drawing counted as writing. This was to encourage me to devote more time to drawing, and I assigned an arbitrary word count to time spent (given a picture's worth a thousand words, and all that). I didn't finish anything major, aside from some wedding invites for my sister that turned out okay, but I'm happy that I spent a little more time than usual on a skill I've sadly neglected.

Soooo... projects for 2016...

First and last I need to finish the rebranded 2116. I'm at the horrible stage of editing where you read everything aloud and agonise for hours about word choice ("Do I mean bright or do I mean clear? Is spiderwebbing a real word? Is a culvert what I think it is?"). After that I need to redraft all the crap I wrote last year.

And then I have a stolen idea about dragons that I want to pursue...

In 2016 I will write. I will read. I will draw. I will blog. It's also likely I will drink too much wine and shout at cooking shows on TV. In my spare moments I might sleep. Also, Fallout 4.

Best wishes to you all for a shiny 2016. ("SHINY! That's the word I want!")

2015 review - awesome books

Books are the best. You've maybe heard this, either from myself or others. But really, books are the best, and this year has been full of some lovely, lovely books. These are a random selection of my favourites (not all of which came out this year, but I only discovered them this year so shush).

The Fold - Peter Clines
Clever, witty, creepy sci-fi that reminded me why teleportation scares the bejaysus out of me.

Positive - David Wellington
Quite probably the best zombie book since... well, since David Wellington's Monster Island books. Smart and scary, with a couple of delightful little fan-service nods, brilliantly written characters, and not nearly so much DOOM as certain other post-apoc books.

The Rest of Us Just Live Here - Patrick Ness
I feel bad for all the time I spent NOT reading Patrick Ness. This new one is easily my favourite, so funny and clever. I spent the whole time being delighted by the characters and writing (and reading the funniest bits aloud to my patient husband). Also, coincidentally, it's the first Patrick Ness book that hasn't made me bawl like a baby.

Railhead - Philip Reeve
SENTIENT TRAINS IN SPACE. At one point I thought there was going to be space dinosaurs and I legitimately lost my shit. The most fun book I've read all year.

Atlanta Burns - Chuck Wendig
I should've hated this book. It's exactly the subject matter I avoid at all costs (bullied kids stand up to bullies, yikes). But Mr Wendig has a nasty habit of grabbing you by the neck and dragging you through the story with such manic enthusiasm it's very difficult not to get caught up.

The Zoo - Jamie Mollart
American Psycho via One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, a creepy and dark psychological tale.

Revival - Stephen King
Wow, a new Stephen King book that I really liked? I'll take that.

The Mystery of the Clockwork Sparrow - Katherine Woodfine
Murder and larceny in the grand environs of a newly opened department store in period London.

Runemarks - Joanne Harris
This fun retelling of the Norse legends definitely wasn't released this year, but I loved it so I'm including it. :)

Bird Box - Josh Malerman
A neat idea, very well executed, and scored a triple whammy in our house: it made me sleep with the lights on, it resided for a time in the freezer, and it distressed the crap out of my husband.

A Court of Thorns and Roses - Sarah J Maas
Well, obviously I'm going to fall in love with any book featuring a sarcastic red-headed faerie named Lucien, that was always a foregone conclusion.

In total I've read approximately eighty books this year (I kept a spreadsheet), which is a vast improvement on previous years. I'd therefore like to give an additional thank-you nod to The Year of Reading Dangerously - Andy Miller for encouraging me to get back into reading as a full-time habit. Fifty pages a day or bust!

With that in mind, I'm also determined to finish A Brief History of Seven Killings - Marlon James (which is neither brief nor limited to seven killings, but IS very good) before the end of the year. My resolution for 2016 is not to let any book defeat me.

(My other resolution is MORE BOOKS, of course)

still doing that writing thing

This was something my friend said to me a while back. She'd come round to help me drink whiskey and shout at Disney movies, which we sadly don't do often enough these days. I've mentioned before that I don't have a set word count I try and hit each day--instead I write something each day, even if it's just a few notes or a funny line someone said. So, since this particular day was likely to be eaten up by whiskey and shouting, I snatched a few minutes while my friend was in the bathroom to write in my notebook.

It wasn't anything great, literally just: this is where the current WIP is going tomorrow, when hopefully you won't be too hungover to do anything and a few lines about the next scene.

My friend returned before I'd finished and I explained my "write something every day" policy. Her response was, "Oh, are you still doing that writing thing?"

This surprised me, because... well, what else would I be doing? I've never for one moment considered it was something I would stop. But why not? People quit hobbies all the time. I never progressed with playing the violin, or painting, or bread-making. There are things I really enjoy that I never have time for these days, like video games or sewing or Warhammer. So why was the idea of stopping writing so strange?

Just think about it... I could quit. I'd have extra time on my hands. I wouldn't forever be zoning out while thinking about characters or plots. I could rejoin the real world and not have to fret about stupid self-imposed deadlines or how many days are left in NaNoWriMo.

Oh yes, we're in NaNo month again. That's a whole separate post by itself.

But, obviously, I'm not going to quit writing. Not just because I'm stubborn, or because I want to be a proper, full-time writer, or because I'm pretty sure I won't find anything else I can do competently. It's just... I can't really imagine not doing it.

And that's the best thing about finally developing a good writing habit, I've realised. It feels odd when I'm not writing. I'd miss it. And for that reason, I can't see myself quitting that writing thing anytime soon.

HOME GROUND available FREE on Kindle this weekend

Wow, there're a lot of capital letters in that title.

To coincide with Manx Litfest 2015, my ebook HOME GROUND will be available to download for free between Thursday 24th September and Sunday 27th September 2015 inclusive:

On Amazon.co.uk

On Amazon.com

If you like zombies, history, horror, and getting something for free, please do check it out.

countdown to Manx Litfest 2015

This has really snuck up on me. Seriously, I thought we had a couple of months left to get ready, but suddenly it's next week. o_O

Anyway... WOOOOO the fourth annual Manx Litfest is almost upon us!!

Details of stuff are available on the official website. If you're on the Island and you like books, it's the place you'll want to be. Also if you like poetry, science, whiskey, zombies, and shrieking in fan-girl joy.

Last year I discovered that you really should come prepared to events like this, so here is my unofficial guide to essential Litfest gear:

If y'all are attending, come find me at the bar and I'll get a round in. :)

born to runner-up

Practice makes perfect.

We can probably agree, in general, that the above statement is correct. You start off rubbish, you practice for untold squillions of hours, you eventually get good. You're very unlikely to get good if you skip the boring, repetative middle part (anyone who instantly became brilliant at anything is free to ignore this blog post).

The more I stop to think about it however, the more I'm convinced it's not completely accurate, and the problem lies with the word 'perfect'. Can you really obtain perfection just through diligent practice?

An example: I can't sing. Well, I can sing privately in the car or over-enthusiastically at karaoke, but no one is ever going to pay to hear the sound of my voice. Now, if I practiced every single day; if I took lessons and learned techniques and really focused my mind... in a few years I could probably be competent. BUT... competent is a long way from perfect, isn't it? No matter how much time and effort I put into singing, I'm never going to star in Les Mis or get to the final round of X-Factor.

See, this is an issue I'm having about my writing. I would classify myself as a competent writer. I've completed about twenty novels, some of which are readable. I write every day. I take every available (affordable) course I can. I ask advice from anyone who'll tolerate my questions. I understand the basics of structure and plotting and why my characters shouldn't be so bloody passive all the time. I know how to use the word 'ameliorate'. I'm fairly sure I know what a gerund is.

BUT... competent is a long way from perfect.

If writing is a scale from 1 to 10, where 10 is Neil Gaiman and 1 is a drunk horse hitting the keys with its face, I'm probably... ehhhhh... realistically about a 6. Maybe a 7 on the best day of my life.

I'm definitely better than I was when I first started writing, at age 14, with a screenplay about killer mutated gorse bushes (it was called A Real Mutated One and was an unhealthy blend of The Thing and Reservoir Dogs, as far as I recall). I'm also pretty sure I'm a better writer than I was five years ago. A year ago? That I'm not so sure about.

I'm not convinced I'm still improving as a writer. I think I may have reached a plateau. And that's irksome, because I would quite like to be brilliant.

Don't get me wrong, there's nothing intrinsically bad about competence. I'm a competent cook and that's fine--I have no ambitions above feeding my family every day. There is no aspiration for me to become a professional cook or bake a meringue on live television or learn what the hell a bain marie is. A decent level of competence is both admirable and worth working hard for.

But to upgrade from a 6 to a 10... is that even possible? Or does every perfect-10 writer in the world have some spark of genius that simply can't be replicated by wishing really-really hard? Not everyone who learns the guitar has the potential to be Jimi Hendrix. By their very nature, perfect-10s are a rare, singular event, because if everyone was special then no one would be.

This is what I'm currently fretting about. Am I happy to be competent in my writing? And if not, is there anything I can do about it? Hard work is a significant part of the process, sure, but I suspect the perfect-10s also have a blending of genius, luck, and good timing. Maybe lazy geniuses never reach their full potential, but equally, hard-working competents without that indefinable flair may never become geniuses. Is that true?

I think I have to decide what I want to aim for, what I can realistically achieve, and how I intend to get there. Hmm.