always sunny in the desert

This month I've mostly been playing ASSASSIN'S CREED ORIGINS. And it's okay. Certainly not the worst in the franchise, but pretty far from the best either. To be honest, although I've clocked up a decent amount of hours so far, I feel like I've hardly scratched the surface of gameplay, but that might be because I've only just been given a mission that involved any sneaky assassination. I've also only recently unlocked the hidden blade, or found any building higher than two storeys to climb. Now, call me a traditionalist, but the things I associate with ASS CREED are a) climbing buildings and b) stabbing folks, and not being given either of these options at the outset felt a bit strange. No, it felt like I was playing ASS CREED BROTHERHOOD again, and nobody needs that.

Also, I suspect I'm further through the game than it looks. This sneaky assassination mission is the third main target, out of five. So... am I two thirds of the way through? That can't be right. Look at the size of that map! The rest of it can't all be filled with empty desert and weirdly aggressive hippos, can it?

Oh, wait, it can? And you're going to dissuade me from exploring by making some enemies impossible to kill (helpfully marked with a red skull above their heads) until I reach a certain level? Of course you are.

I do like the ability to "borrow" boats rather than stealing them (the rightful owner complains a bit, then settles down in the bow of the boat until you've finished scooting wherever you're going, at which point they'll take their boat back and go on their merry way, which makes a heck of a change from the protagonist randomly throwing people out of vehicles whenever the whim takes him). And I like my camel, Reginald, and the "follow road" option, where you can autopilot your camel to the next waypoint. Although obviously Reginald is not smart enough to stop BEFORE the waypoint if it is, for example, in the middle of a heavily fortified garrison full of unkillable enemies.

Every time, Reginald. Every goddamn time.

Also, who the heck was in charge of animating that poor camel? I salute Ubisoft's commitment to employing "team members of diverse religions, sexuality, and gender-orientation" (as they tell us at the start of every game, in a slightly defensive way tbh) but next time could they employ someone who knows how a camel is put together? Or who at least could look up a video on youtube? But noooo, let's just use the same animation framework as the horses, and make poor Reginald run like a lumpen horse with little-to-no sense of self-preservation, straight into prickly arrow-death.

OTHER THINGS I'VE LIKED THIS MONTH:

BOOKS:

The Tale of the Duelling Neurosurgeons - Sam Kean
Brains are weird. That's the first takeaway from this book. The other is that my absolute favourite kind of non-fiction is Extremely Knowledgeable Expert Talks About Specialist Topic in Super-Excitable Fashion. I'll read pretty much anything that falls under that heading, which this book definitely does.

Middlemarch - George Elliot
WHY IS LITERARY FICTION SO HARD. I'm 20% through this ebook. I suspect this may take a while.

TV:

Oh Asia, baby, what made you think it was a good idea to put live butterflies into a dress? My heart breaks.